Ep: It Coulda Been Worse, She Coulda Been A Welder
by owlcroft
Summary: How would the judge handle a serious relationship between Mark and Warren?


Disclaimer: The characters do not and most probably never will belong to me. I make no profit from this.

A/N: Another story initially published in the STAR for Brian's second CDzine. Thank you all for helping and we hope you'll be there for the installation in June.

**Epilogophilia – It Coulda Been Worse . . . She Coulda Been a Welder**

_Hardcastle's opinionated, irritating niece Warren Wyngate protests the proposed destruction of a popular campus bar (where she dances at night for a small fee) so that her university can build a law library dedicated to a judge named Calvin Moreland. An unsuccessful attempt to kidnap Warren convinces Hardcastle that there's more to the situation than first thought. When the judge investigates, he learns that the kidnappers' boss is currently being tried by Judge Moreland. Ultimately, Hardcastle and McCormick figure out that the man sitting on the bench is not Calvin Moreland. When confronted, "Moreland" admits that he has been forced to help the mob ever since they discovered his secret. The mobster attempts to kill Hardcastle but is caught and arrested for attempted murder._

**Epilogue --** by Owlcroft

Judge Hardcastle rustled the newspaper and glanced at McCormick. "I . . . um . . ."

"What?" asked McCormick, busy with the sports section.

"Nothing," said the judge and returned to the editorials. He cleared his throat noisily and rattled the paper again. After a pause, "Hey, I wanted to ask you something," he said without looking up.

Mark finished the article on the Dodgers and set the paper aside. "I told you, Judge, I'm not running a book any more." He smiled slyly, "But I am offering six to five on the Lakers over the Bulls tonight with a three-point bulge."

"That's not it." Hardcastle waved a hand dismissively. "Nah, I just wondered . . . now that you and Warren . . . um . . . got to know each other a little more . . ."

"Are you serious?" McCormick gaped at him incredulously. "Are you asking me if we're going to be _seeing_each other, having a _relationship_,_dating_? Are you nuts, or do you think I am?"

"Well, she's fairly attractive and smart and you did go to the movies together." The judge harrumphed defensively. "I just wondered if the two of you were gonna get back together now, that's all." He lifted his chin aggressively. "It's a reasonable question."

"Reasonable." Mark snorted and leaned back in his patio chair. "It's completely_un_reasonable. First, it's none of your business and second, I'd have to have brie for brains to ever have a personal relationship with Warren."

"Why? 'Cause she's my niece?" huffed Hardcastle.

"No," replied Mark calmly. "Because she's irritating."

The judge nodded in agreement. "And defensive and opinionated and annoying."

McCormick grinned at him. "All Hardcastle family traits." He thought for a minute, then narrowed his eyes and demanded, "Is that why you were asking? You were worried I might be a member of your family some day? Having an ex-con marry into the family might tarnish the image, huh?"

"Don't be dumber than you have to be." Hardcastle scowled at him. "If I was worried at all, which I wasn't, it was that Warren might be hanging around _here_ all the time if you two got something going." He closed his eyes and shuddered. "Warren here, underfoot, complaining about everything, being bossy and loud and arguing about everything." He pressed his fingertips to his eyes and shuddered again. "It doesn't bear thinking about."

Mark sat pensively, rubbing at a spot on the glass-topped table. "Well, don't think about it, 'cause it ain't gonna happen, okay?"

"Good," said the judge emphatically.

Both men sat quietly for another few moments, then the judge sniffed and returned to his editorial.

McCormick slouched a little further in his chair, opened his mouth, reconsidered and closed it again.

"What?" asked the judge, who had excellent peripheral vision.

"I was just wondering . . ." Mark cocked his head and eyed the judge consideringly. "If you'd had any other female relatives, and if we_did_get serious about each other . . ." He went back to rubbing the spot on the table. "Would that have been a problem? If we'd gotten married, I mean."

Hardcastle sighed and put down his paper. "Well, it's a moot point, isn't it? But here you are, living on my property, driving my truck, eating my food, doing my laundry. Far as I'm concerned, if you wanted to marry Aunt May and be my uncle, that's fine with me. Okay?"

Mark grinned at him. "Hah! You'd have to call me Uncle Mark and buy me handkerchiefs for Christmas."

"You'd have to drive a Studebaker and play pinochle," grinned the judge right back at him. "Oh, and just imagine the family reunions! Can you picture D-Day's face?"

"Hey! That's a great idea!" McCormick straightened up in his chair. "Can't we sic Warren on Didi? I mean, have her pay a visit to Didi, help her settle into her new place and all?"

"Hmm, that actually is a good idea," said the judge slowly. "I'd love to see those two go head-to-head." Hardcastle lost himself in his imaginings, then abruptly said, "Wait a minute. Six to five on the Lakers?"

finis


End file.
